How Many Smiley Faces Did You Get

I admit I am terrible about opening my mail. I figure I can't pay the bills anyway so why even look at them. Okay that isn't entirely true, but when I know something isn't a bill I tend to put it away until later. Today was later.

Yesterday I posted an article about Worcester signing on the "Smart Grid" technology program in Examiner.com, and talked about "Big Brother". Today as i opened the mail, I receive a notice from National Grid called a "Home Energy Report". Seems they have decided to compare my energy use with that of my neighbors. I used 6% less that the than my efficient neighbors, so take that.

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That's the good news, seems I went from being the 11th most efficient to the 27th most efficient as compared to 100 of them. I didn't even know i was participating in this program, go figure. I am also over my target goal, which is for me to use 3% less than last year. If I meet my goal or go below it do I win some kind of prize? Do I get money back? If so, I certainly am not adverse to sabotaging my neighbors by running extension cords to their houses to run my lights.

Now I am assuming that each year they will revise my target downward by three percent from this years usage. I'm not a math major but wouldn't I eventually have to stop using electricity altogether? I mean, sooner or later, let's see maybe 33 years, I will be down to zero. Is this the ultimate plan? Should I buy candles now?

Of course this doesn't list my neighbors individually so it is hard to compare. After all since I have a smaller house than say those people over there, who also have kids, I am sure I use less then they do. And then there is the people behind me, I don't care how much electricity they use as long as he doesn't shut of the draft beer system he has in the bar.

So now I am wondering, should I start a neighborhood watch of some kind, like the old air raid wardens during WW2, and make people shut off their lights? Could I get a light blue UN helmet to wear and special powers conferred upon me by the United Nations?

Or does that come only after I get three smiley faces on my report, I have two now, how about you?